- English translation
At your celebrations I'm forgotten, but at your times of grief I'm the one you send for.
- Literal wording
In your joys, forgotten; and in your sorrows, summoned.
- Meaning and lesson
The speaker, grammatically a woman, protests a lopsided relationship with a whole household or circle. When they celebrate, she slips from their thoughts. When grief or hardship arrives, she is suddenly remembered and called for, because her help and comfort are now wanted.
Though voiced by a woman, the complaint applies to anyone. The saying exposes loyalty that runs one way only: some people value others mainly for their usefulness in bad times. Being sought only for burdens, never for joys, is a quiet form of neglect.
- When it is used
Fits a speaker who feels taken for granted by relatives or friends: left out of weddings and celebrations, yet invited and expected to help and console whenever trouble or bereavement strikes. It works as a rueful complaint or a pointed reproach.
Cite or copy proverb
How this record reached us: Editorially sourced.
Report an issue with this meaning: At your celebrations I'm forgotten, but at your times of grief I'm the one you send for.