- English translation
Go in when you are kin to the mistress of the home; if your tie is to her husband, make your exit.
- Literal wording
If the woman of the house is your relative, enter; if her husband is your relative, leave.
- Meaning and lesson
The proverb contrasts two family connections when visiting a household. In this traditional saying, kinship with the woman of the household is presented as grounds for entering, because the visitor can expect a more open and accommodating welcome.
By contrast, a visitor related through the husband is advised not to stay, or to leave if already inside. Though addressed to a woman, the saying distinguishes the visitor’s tie to the household; it reflects a stereotyped, gendered view of in-law relations, not a general truth about families.
- When it is used
It is used to advise discretion in household visits: a relative of the woman is portrayed as welcome, while a relative of her husband is counselled not to linger. The saying reflects a traditional, gendered view of family loyalties within marriage and should not be taken as a general rule.
Cite or copy proverb
How this record reached us: Editorially sourced.
Report an issue with this meaning: Go in when you are kin to the mistress of the home; if your tie is to her husband, make your exit.