He's a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.

A true friend praises someone when that person is absent, rather than reserving kind words for face-to-face flattery. What is said in private or among others is presented as a stronger test of goodwill.

The saying contrasts loyal appreciation with the common expectation that talk behind a person's back will be critical. It commends people whose private speech protects or enhances a friend's reputation, while implying that public compliments alone may be less trustworthy.

Use it to commend a person whose favorable comments about a friend are reported by others, or to express the standard that friendship should include respectful speech when the friend is not present. Its tone is warm and mildly proverbial.