- English translation
I'd rather never set foot in my family's house again than have them say, 'Here comes the one who's after something.'
- Literal wording
Let the house of my family be forbidden to me, better than that they say, 'The wanting woman has come.'
- Meaning and lesson
A married woman who now keeps a house of her own vows she would sooner deny herself visits to the home she grew up in than walk in and hear them mutter that the one who wants something has turned up again. Her dignity matters more than the comfort of seeing her kin.
More broadly, the saying voices a refusal to stand where one's mere presence will be taken as scrounging. It also carries a quiet complaint about relatives who greet a visitor with suspicion or irritation, assuming she has come to carry provisions off to her own home rather than simply to see them.
- When it is used
Suits a moment when someone explains staying away from relatives or benefactors out of self-respect, fearing every visit will be read as a request. It is usually spoken in the first person, classically by a married woman about her family of origin, with wounded pride.
- Register
- colloquial
Cite or copy proverb
How this record reached us: Editorially sourced.
Report an issue with this meaning: I'd rather never set foot in my family's house again than have them say, 'Here comes the one who's after something.'