- English translation
The bereaved have gone quiet, but the people offering condolences are making the greater display of grief.
- Literal wording
The dead person’s family fell silent, while the consolers exhausted themselves.
- Meaning and lesson
This proverb criticizes performative sorrow: those bearing the real loss may be composed or exhausted, while outsiders intensify tears, wailing, and sympathy beyond what the occasion calls for.
It applies more broadly when people with little personal stake make the loudest show of emotion, concern, or outrage. It portrays such excess as hypocrisy rather than genuine fellow-feeling, so it should not be used to dismiss sincere grief.
- When it is used
Use it to point out ostentatious sympathy or exaggerated emotion from observers, especially when those directly affected are restrained. It is reproachful and can sound harsh; avoid it in active bereavement or when it could unfairly accuse sincere mourners of insincerity.
Cite or copy proverb
How this record reached us: Editorially sourced.
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